We praise the LORD, for He is good! I am doing well on the medicines the doctor put me on, and Ashley and I are thankful every day for that. However, there is a burden we secretly carry and feel it is now time to share it.
I (Ben) decided I didn’t want to share this information publicly, for a few reasons, but we have privately shared this information with our family and a few close friends. We told everyone that in the doctors appointment the doctor discussed the medicine option (Plan A). We also discussed Plan B, which is where they will run leads from my pace maker to the bottom part of my heart to help assist my heart to maintain correct rhythm. This may still have to be done in the future, should the medicines ever stop working properly. There is a Plan C… This is the other part of the doctors appointment that was discussed, and frankly rocked our world. We call Plan it C because we don’t like the reality of the real name… The reality is so hard to comprehend.
As the doctor was telling us our current and future options, he got to Plan C, and it literally took my and probably Ashley’s breaths away… a heart transplant. As we have mentioned before, the heart is measured by the squeezing and relaxing of the heart muscles, and the doctor said ” people’s hearts get tired with all four parts and yours is going to to get tired quicker with only two and half parts.” Another quote that still rings in my head from the doctor is “We need to start having this dialogue about a transplant.” This was the moment mortality slapped me in the face.
My first statement to Ashley was this information stays between us and the people I wanted to tell because I did not want to be a charity or sympathy case for anyone. In addition, I did not want to answer all the questions. I understand that I am not the only one going through difficult or trying situation, but after mentally working through Plan C for several weeks now, I feel like I can share with other people because I know how powerful prayer from God’s children is, and frankly, we need those prayers.
Plan C is not an immediate situation. It is our only option when everything else fails. The problem is, we do not know when and where that failure will take place. The doctor said this could be 5 , 10, 20 years away… who knows. Like I said, we call it Plan C because we don’t like the feeling of doom the word transplant seems to carry, and it helps us ease into the reality of the situation. Once again, the good news is that the medicine is working very well, and my activity level is steadily gaining, compared to where I was in January.
My only difficulty at the moment is sleeping. When they reset my pacemaker, they set it so my heart rate can’t go below 75 beats per minute, which makes sleeping difficult. If I wake up in the middle of the night, to either go to the bathroom or check on my son, I find it pretty difficult to get restful sleep after waking up.
The Martin family appreciates all the prayers, thoughts, and comments through our current sanctification process. Although it is difficult, we know that we suffer trials for a purpose, and we are working through that to honor God. Again, God is good, and we know that even more in these types of situations.